Supertramp Had Kippers for Breakfast

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Back in 1979, Supertramp sang about having kippers for breakfast on theirBreakfast in America album and here I am some 32 years later eating them for lunch. When that album came out, I had no idea what kippers were. There was no Google for me to search on. I naturally assumed it was a British delicacy.  Who knew that it was simply tinned fish? Yup. Tasty little filets of boneless herring. At 130 calories per tin, they’re an excellent low calorie source for omega-3 fatty acids. Unfortunately they are also loaded with sodium. I still don’t care cause I’m having kippers for lunch, mummie dear, mummie dear…

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Top Ten Worst American State Flags

Thank Goodness for Old Glory

Before I get started on some of the rather “unusual” state flags in this country, I just want to say how much I love our flag.  And when I say “our” flag, I mean the American flag–the good old flag of the US of A. Now that is one beautiful flag, with thought and history behind it. I love that the whole design is representative of our country at its birth: the stars on the blue background representing the states in the union and the 13 stripes representing the original 13 colonies that rebelled against England.  It’s a history and a flag that fills me with the pride of being an American. And even though the design of the flag was decided upon a resolution in 1777, it’s Betsy Ross everyone thinks of when it comes to our first flag.  How lucky we were to have her.  Some states were not so lucky.

New Jersey – Before I go on my state flag rampage, I want to make sure no one gets his or her underwear in a bunch.  If I poke a little fun at your flag, don’t take it to heart. I’m not making fun of you personally. And to show that I can be fair, the first flag I’ll review is my own state’s flag, New Jersey.  Now a lot of states use their state seal or crest on their state flags and there’s nothing wrong with that.  So New Jerseyans decided to plop their seal dead center in their flag. It’s not a bad idea but who came up with that background color? Is is muted peach? Faded mustard? Fleshtone? Did someone say, “Hey, we got a lot of this ugly colored fabric lying around. Why don’t we make a flag out of it?”… Continue reading

Top Ten Worst Halloween Candy

The Treats No Trick-or-Treaters Want

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Good ole Charlie Brown gets another rock!

It’s that time of year again when little ghouls, goblins, witches, and monsters all come out in search of chocolate sweets.  Yup, it’s Halloween once more!  Who can forget the anticipation, the thrill of dressing up, and the big booty at the end of the night? It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right behind Christmas.  Since this is a night for kids and candy, I thought I’d scare up a top ten list of worst candy to give out to trick-or-treaters.  If you give out candy this Halloween, this is the list to avoid:

toothbrush_adultv41_all1.  Toothbrush – This is the worst non-candy treat a person could give a kid.  Halloween is all about sweets and chocolate. Who wants to be reminded that they have to brush their teeth?  Could you find a more utilitarian treat? This is akin to getting socks and underwear for Christmas. It’s a big no-no.

2.  Pennies – I really want to know who thought that this was a good idea. What is someone going to do with a few penniespennies or a couple of nickels? Did you confuse my outfit for a piggy bank?  What a total rip-off.  I bet people who give pennies to trick-or-treaters are the same people who tell waiters how wonderful they are and then leave a $2.00 tip on a $45.00 tab. If you’re too cheap to give out candy, then turn your lights out and pretend you’re not home… Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons to Clean Your Grill

or How to Grill Your Food Instead of Incinerating It

 

How do you like your steaks? Black and shrivelled?

How do you like your steaks? Black and shrivelled?

Summertime surely is the time for grilling.  Stroll down the street of any hometown neighborhood during dinner time and the charcoal smells of steaks and burgers sizzling away on some not-so-distant grill will be wafting through the air. Mmmmmmm.

grillGrilling embodies everything that is so good about summer:  Long days, holiday celebrations, picnics, and eating outside on the patio. What could be more satisfying that chowing down on your favorite grilled food, homemade potato salad, and corn on the cob while lounging outdoors in the warmth of the late evening?

Of course, the food on the grill is only as good as the guy who’s cooking it AND the cleanliness of the grill.  While I am a firm believer that a little bit of left over charcoal goodness left on your grill’s grates adds a bit of extra flavor to your food, an over abundance of it is just, well, nasty. So without further ado, here’s my somewhat-humorous, sorta realistic… Continue reading

Top Ten Strange and Stupid Products

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I’ve decided to put together my top list of strange, weird, stupid, dumb, and/or just plain useless products.  These products all carry the ‘Are You Serious?’ factor. Now I’ve blogged about strange products before, things like the Subtle Butt Fart Pads, security briefs with built-in skid marks, a gun shaped remote control and more, but these are the crème de la crème.  (If you want to see all my crazy product reviews, simply look on the right side of the bottom half of my blog and click on “Product Reviews.”)  Just remember as you read this, these are all real products currently on sale somewhere.  As P.T. Barnum once said, “There’s a sucker born every minute,” and these products are here to prove that point.

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There is no way my dogs would let me do this

#10. The Dogone Dog Thong Gas Neutralizing Pad – That’s right, a thong for your dog that also neutralizes farts.  This should be a companion partner to the Subtle Butt.  First of all, who wants to put a thong on a dog?  Secondly, what self-respecting dog would wear one of these things? Well the folks over at Flat-D Innovations, whose tag line is “Products For Those Who Care,” thought this was a good idea.  Unfortunately, not enough people seemed to care about their dogs farting and the product was discontinued… Continue reading

Golly Gee Willikers, Is Batman Gay?

Batman wants to share his experience with Robin.  And who did they model Robin's here do from, Suzanne Pleshette during her Bob Newhart years?

Batman wants to share his experience with Robin. Hmm. And who did they model Robin's hair-do after, Suzanne Pleshette during her Bob Newhart years?

Because I’m a gay man, I’m always looking for subtle gay references in pop culture. In my youth, I craved for gay icons and heroes. You know, some one to look up to and emulate. Unfortunately, that was the 70’s and gay didn’t come into fashion until at least the early 90’s and the introduction of RuPaul. So when I came across an image from a Batman comic that literally screamed “I was inked by a gay man,” I had to search Google to see just how gay batman could be…

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