Sometimes You Just Need to Ramble
I know it’s been less than a week but I still miss my Sissy so much. Every time I would come home, I would see her face peering through the curtains in the living room. You could see that she recognized me as I pulled up and suddenly she would disappear. When I opened the door, there she would be–barking, smiling, and wagging her tail. She was always happy to see me and full of kisses and loveys.
She was such an affectionate dog. She loved laying on me or up against me. She loved to be handled–to be rubbed, petted, kissed, and hugged. She would even hug you back. And as she gave you all that love, she would groan and moan with joy. I guess that’s what I used to do with her when she was just a little pup and she picked it up.
I feel a little guilty, mourning so deeply the loss of a dog, especially when you think about my my stepfather passing and my co-worker losing his 19 yo daughter. This is no comparison but yet, my sense of loss is deep to me. Sissy wasn’t just my dog. She was my companion, my friend. Forever loving, always forgiving, never judging, I could share with her all my secrets. I could cry to her when I was sad and she would snuggle up and comfort me. I could laugh and dance with her when I was happy and she would be joyously happy along with me…
Dave is a different kind of dog. He doesn’t play well. He’s more cautious and nervous and unsure. It takes him a while to work into being affectionate. He eventually gets there, but he just takes a while. He’s 13, which is really old for a dalmatian and he is having problems with his hind legs. He moves slower and he rarely makes it to greet me as I walk in the door. He sleeps in bed with me but likes to have his space as well. He’s simply a different dog than Sissy.
So I am adjusting to life without her. And I am going to be busy this weekend with a big training session that I am involved with. It’s been keeping me busy at work and I am very pleased with the progress. It’s a big group of dealer’s sales people who have come from all over the country to attend this training session, of which FMP is one of the participating vendors. The only thing that bothers me is that I am feeling fat.
Yup, I am big tub o lard. Last time I saw these people, I was thirty pounds thinner. And yes, I know it’s silly, but it still doesn’t help the confidence level any. I wanted to lose some of the weight before this conference and I just couldn’t seem to get myself motivated to do it. I know I need to lose this weight but I just can’t find the motivation.
The problem is multi-level. My clothes no longer fit me. I tire easy and have very little energy. I don’t sleep well, waking up several times a night which means I do not feel as rested in the morning. If I lost the weight, I bet my blood pressure would improve without the use of meds. And I would feel better and fit into all those clothes I can’t wear. It’s been 16 months since I quit smoking and in that time I gained over 30 lbs. I know I need to do something.
Well, writing about it doesn’t mean I will do anything but maybe it will get me started. I’ve been thinking of joining a local gym and start working out. There’s lots of specials going on and I think I can afford $20 a month. And a little exercise sure couldn’t hurt. It would get my mind off of things and give me more energy. Hmmm…who knows? Hopefully, my next post will be “I joined a gym” or at least, “Why the hell did I join a gym?”