This And That

Sometimes You Just Need to Ramble

SissyI know it’s been less than a week but I still miss my Sissy so much.  Every time I would come home, I would see her face peering through the curtains in the living room.  You could see that she recognized me as I pulled up and suddenly she would disappear.  When I opened the door, there she would be–barking, smiling, and wagging her tail. She was always happy to see me and full of kisses and loveys.

She was such an affectionate dog.  She loved laying on me or up against me. She loved to be handled–to be rubbed, petted, kissed, and hugged. She would even hug you back.  And as she gave you all that love, she would groan and moan with joy. I guess that’s what I used to do with her when she was just a little pup and she picked it up.

I feel a little guilty, mourning so deeply the loss of a dog, especially when you think about my my stepfather passing and my co-worker losing his 19 yo daughter.  This is no comparison but yet, my sense of loss is deep to me. Sissy wasn’t just my dog. She was my companion, my friend. Forever loving, always forgiving, never judging, I could share with her all my secrets. I could cry to her when I was sad and she would snuggle up and comfort me. I could laugh and dance with her when I was happy and she would be joyously happy along with me…

Dave is a different kind of dog. He doesn’t play well. He’s more cautious and nervous and unsure.  It takes him a while to work into being affectionate.  He eventually gets there, but he just takes a while.  He’s 13, which is really old for a dalmatian and he is having problems with his hind legs. He moves slower and he rarely makes it to greet me as I walk in the door.  He sleeps in bed with me but likes to have his space as well. He’s simply a different dog than Sissy.

My ex-Wade and me with Sissy. She's wearing her first dog collar, which I still have. It has tags from 1999 on it.
My ex-Wade and me with Sissy. She’s wearing her first dog collar, which I still have. It has tags from 1999 on it. She was still a pup in this picture.

So I am adjusting to life without her. And I am going to be busy this weekend with a big training session that I am involved with. It’s been keeping me busy at work and I am very pleased with the progress.  It’s a big group of dealer’s sales people who have come from all over the country to attend this training session, of which FMP is one of the participating vendors.  The only thing that bothers me is that I am feeling fat.

Yup, I am big tub o lard. Last time I saw these people, I was thirty pounds thinner. And  yes, I know it’s silly, but it still doesn’t help the confidence level any.  I wanted to lose some of the weight before this conference and I just couldn’t seem to get myself motivated to do it. I know I need to lose this weight but I just can’t find the motivation.

The problem is multi-level.  My clothes no longer fit me. I tire easy and have very little energy.  I don’t sleep well, waking up several times a night which means I do not feel as rested in the morning.  If I lost the weight, I bet my blood pressure would improve without the use of meds.  And I would feel better and fit into all those clothes I can’t wear. It’s been 16 months since I quit smoking and in that time I gained over 30 lbs. I know I need to do something.

Well, writing about it doesn’t mean I will do anything but maybe it will get me started. I’ve been thinking of joining a local gym and start working out.  There’s lots of specials going on and I think I can afford $20 a month. And a little exercise sure couldn’t hurt.  It would get my mind off of things and give me more energy. Hmmm…who knows? Hopefully, my next post will be “I joined a gym” or at least, “Why the hell did I join a gym?”

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15 thoughts on “This And That

  1. Debby says:

    Aww Preston. Of course you are missing Sissy! As a dog person I get it. Our dogs are not just pets – they are family. You need time to grieve. Take the time you need. As for the weight, I’m with ya on that one! Yes, we would certainly sleep better and your BP would more than likely go down. Our knees will feel better, we will have more energy..all positive things. If you can join the gym (and you’ll go) then do it. I began walking with a friend. It helped a lot!!
    You may never get over Sissy’s death completely but over time you will grieve just a little less. One day instead of tears when you think of her or see a picture you will smile just a little. Her memory will cheer you. Right now you are suffering. It’s natural so just go with it. <>

    • Valerie Smith says:

      I so totally relate, Don! I just recently lost my cat, Olivia -She lived to be 16, but I still feel so bad about the end of her life-My husband was medically retired from the Army from Fort Riley Kansas, and we moved ourselves(long story, made short; INVISIBLE COCKROACHES! OMG!) We had 3 cats to bring with us to California-Mushu(Siamese) Ollie(Mushu’s son) and OLivia-I come out after a hotel stay overnight only to find just her lifeless body in her carrier-We are in Colorado-What am I to do? Would have kept her in a cremated box in my garden, but we couldn’t bring her body for 2 more days to Sonoma CA……Left her in her carrier in the hotel dumpster!:(
      Disney….Me being 47, my youngest Disney memory is playing the ALBUM of theb recently released SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS! 😀 Presently(TIME is 7:38am-My 5 and a half year-old son Michael is glued to SWORD IN THE STONE- He hasn’t seen Disneyland or World yet-Would so love to see it through his big blue eyes!!!!!!
      Thanks so much for letting us all share our stories-
      Love your morning show and naturally enjoy Mr. Seacrest’s afternoon-evening show hearing all his celebrity interviews-HUGE American Idol FAN from Kelly Clarkson’s fabulous WIN!!!!!
      Love,
      Val and family-Sonoma,CA

  2. Marti says:

    Preston, I am doing a show again and miss our crazy times–miss you, too. I agree–go with your sorrow and though it will never really be gone, it will abate.Give Dave love, he must be feeling lonely, and, as he is his own kind of dog, as you said, I’ll bet he is also grieving…in his own way. Dont worry about your meeting/convention. People will remember you for your friendliness, professionalism, wit and humor. And…We’ll both lose the weight. I promise!

  3. catt says:

    Preston, It is not wrong to be still mourning Sissy. She was like family to you.. She loved you as her master and care provider.. As you said she was there for you for all your sad time and glad time.. You will always keep her in your heart.. Please give Dave that little extra treat he really needs it now..Now you seem to be mourning your weight gain too… Let me tell you. Preston you have a winning personality about you and a witty charm.. Its a pleasure to be in your company…. The conference people will not even notice your weight gain… We all need to lose a little weight..Your sleepless nights are cause you taking to much to bed with you at bedtime..Put the worries under the bed.. Also note most people that give up the smokes do gain weight.. Think before you join the gym.. You just might be able to discipline yourself.. Start with a healthy food diet.. Take that walk..

  4. It is understandable that you miss Sissy, am sure she was more then just a companion waiting to greet you everyday it would be kind of sad. As for losing your weight it depends completely on how determined you are to shed that extra pounds.

  5. Losing a pet is very different from losing a person. Don’t compare the two, think of them as different emotions. When Mack died last year, I swore I felt him jump on the bed or heard him meow for months after he was gone. Don’t minimize your feelings. *hugs*

  6. chip frey says:

    preston you dont need to join a gym- need i remind you, you are a life time member of bally’s —– go to deptford i think, tell them you lost the card and they will reissue you i think there is a charge — but dude you always are and were a member there-chip

  7. Oh Preston, I’m so sorry to hear about Sissy, it’s so tough losing a dog…and it sounds like Sissy was an incredible companion.

    Good luck on the gym, I can’t wait for that post 😉

  8. For me that was the toughest thing about losing my first dog…just coming home to that empty house every night. We got a dog right away but that ended up being a mistake because there was no replacing the first dog.

  9. Sorry I’m late with the comments, but believe me I am really sorry about Sissy’s death. And no, you are not foolish to be mourning over a dog that way, considering the fact that Sissy has been part of your life for over 10 years. Good luck at the conference and your weight should not make you lack confidence. If you think it is affecting your health, then try to change your diet to include more fruits and veggies, less snacks and gradually begin to increase your exercise. By the way, I sent you an email!

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