We’ve all heard of hot pads, knee pads, and bachelor pads, but farting pads? Well get ready for the hippest new pad since Austin Powers was defrosted–the Subtle Butt. The Subtle Butt is a 3.5″ square soft fiber fabric with an antimicrobal treatment on one side and impregnated with activated carbon on the other side. Simply place inside your undies or pants and fart away with confidence.
Moderately priced at $9.95 for a package of 5, the Subtle Butt is perfect for your bean loving, brussels sprouts eating, chili chowing farting boyfriend/husband/co-worker. Each pad comes with two “strategically placed” adhesive strips making installing them a breeze. The strips not only secure the product to your clothing, but also tell you which side should be against your skin.
So pick up a pack or two today at guarmentguard.com and don’t let flatualence blow you or your friends away. Warning: Best used against SBDs. Subtle Butt makes no claims to muffle the sounds that accompany farting so although your friends won’t smell that you farted, they may still hear it. Now, if they only made a Subtle Butt for dogs, my life would be complete!
Me and the Blue Skies 
Okay! Now I have seen it all!
I’m so buying this for my daughter Mercede. She is lethal!
All.I.can.say. is.WOW.
Sandy – That’s the point. But you won’t smell it…
Wheremyangels – I know I should stock up.
NJdecorator – Maybe you should say, “WOW, that smells nice…”
LOL on the farting pads. Where did you find those? Hilarious! And congrats on the Target card. I entered that giveaway too! Lucky winner you! I actually just came by to tell you that the randomly-selected winner of the Cheesecake Factory gift certificate is Joy from Joy to the Blog. Thanks so much for entering my giveaway, and for becoming a follower! I hope you enjoy my blog! I try to visit at least 2 of my followers daily to spread comment love so I’ll be seeing you soon!
P.S. Come visit for my best giveaway ever from March 23rd-26th!
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O.
M.
G.
The things companys try to sell for money!
hmmm 🙂
Hi.
Stopping by via sits.
Have a great weekend!
Hi there.
Passing by from SITS.
I like your site.
Okay so you were 2 ahead of me at roll call this morning… that dog avatar got me here.. funny as poop! And what did I find???? You won MY Target card from Brandy (she’s in the poo house now).. and if that wasn’t enough you got my butt laughing at 6:40 in the A.M. on a Monday, an act unitl this day I would have sworn was simply impossible!! YOU ROCK.. I’m now stalking you.. um following you and I see Brandy, Amiee, Rebecca and a few of the crew are here too! I’m calling a meeting of the cewl kids to find out just WHY I was not notified that this was the place to be!!
Carebear – Thanks for stopping by and congratulations to Joy on winning MY Cheesecake Factory gift certificate.
Sexy – Huh? Can anyone translate this?
Holly Jones – More like mmm…no smell…
the chocoholic – Thanks for stopping by
Godiva – Glad you like my site.
Dipaola Momma – I change my avatar semi-regularly. I recently posted about my dog farting and then I saw this image and I knew it was perfect for my avitar. (At least for now.) Glad I could make you laugh so early on a Monday.
I just wanted to say,” ewwwwwwww ” LOL
That’s just wrong! Or maybe it is a good idea!
What!?!?!? No Way!!!! Hilarious!
Here from SITS (or BITS?)
Enjoy your day in the spotlight! (And I def need this product in my stanky Trenches!)
Oh my goodness…..
That is way too funny.
oh my… actually, I can think of some people who could really benefit from this:)
What? What? What?
Great idea. Too bad it does nothing for the sound. My husband rips some that probably make folks in China drop their chopsticks and run for cover. He’s actually woke the baby before!
OMG..I’m just laughing it up. I’m so going to send that link to my dh. Stopping by from SITS..Congrats on being Saucy for the day!
How wonderful!! I wonder if there is a way to sew it in place so the hubby doesn’t know, unfortunately he loves the fart game and always will!!
Oh my goodness that’s hillarious. (visiting from SITS today)
What *will* they think of next? (I’m here from SITS – Hi BITSah 🙂 )
You could attach some elastic bands to them for dogs.. err. Yeah! 😛
This is just hilarious! I already have someone in mind for this…
I’m not sure how to react to this…laugh? cry? order some for the boyfriend?
But congrats on being featured at SITS today! 🙂
Now that is too much! i lost it while i was reading! I swear there is something for everything… hahhahaha! Congrats again on being the feaured blog today.
this might possibly be one of the funniest things i have seen. Do they work for pregnant ladies too?! haha
Oh my! This is awesome AND hilarious!…maybe you should ask the company to move into Canine prototypes next!
That’s great, but there’s still the issue of the noise. Nevertheless, I may buy some for my husband…keep the house smelling pretty and all.
Congrats on being featured over at SITS.
lol! visiting from sits.
this is perfect for the gym when you can’t squeeze them back in OR run away!!
O.M.G. You must be joking. And the OMG part is that they will most likely make $$ on this. Just $$ though, not $$$$. I’m guessing.
OMG is right. Someone’s got to figure out a sound muffler though…
Genius idea.
Simply genius or should I say subtle genius.
Congrats on being Saucy today, be proud of being one of the few awesome male SITStas.
OMG! Too funny!
Well I was coming by to congratulate you on your saucy day, and found a new product for the hubs! Thanks for sharing! LOL
congrats on your bits day…how funny is this..my hubby my need some of these
That is indeed crazy! I have heard it all! But, I would love if they made it for dogs as well. LOL
Visiting from SITS!
Ohh…. this is great! I need to get some of these for my husband!!!
Is this for real? I could use this. Not for me… for a friend!
Seriously?! If you’ve got that much gas common sense would say, “get thee to a doctor!” not “come over here and sit on this charcoal pad.”
What’s that expression? I fool and his money are soon parted… Now please tell me you didn’t actually buy this 🙂
My husband is getting these for Christmas. I’m thinking stocking stuffers =)
My husband is getting these for Christmas. I’m thinking stocking stuffers =)
Here from SITS…Congrats on your FB today!
Okay, I have officially seen everything!!!! ROTFLMAO =-D
LOL..It’s about time! ya know I’ve always told my husband I was gonna stick an air-freshener up there, now I’m corrected, it’s a subtle butt!
very nice blog!
blessings…
Something my husband needs, that’s for sure!
Years ago my brother-in-law got a pair of “fart pants” for x-mas from his parents. His flatulence (sp?) is a well-known fact to contend with whenever we are in his presence. Anyway, these said fart pants were made of a white rubber and had this charcoal insert type thing that was supposed to aborb the smell I guess. Hilarious!
Something my husband needs, that’s for sure!
Years ago my brother-in-law got a pair of “fart pants” for x-mas from his parents. His flatulence (sp?) is a well-known fact to contend with whenever we are in his presence. Anyway, these said fart pants were made of a white rubber and had this charcoal insert type thing that was supposed to aborb the smell I guess. Hilarious!
I’m dying! That is hilarious.
I mean, really?!?!? Do we need that? Maybe so, considering my husbands, ehem, farting problem.
Thanks for the laugh!
Where has this been all of my life?? What a hilarious and genuinely needed product!
Wow, what will they think of next?!?
Thank you for the smile, visiting from SITS.
Now I have seen it all but I truly think a woman invented this because she was tired of smelling her husband’s farts. I just wish it would muffle out the noise. Oh well, I will take 2!!
Now I have seen it all but I truly think a woman invented this because she was tired of smelling her husband’s farts. I just wish it would muffle out the noise. Oh well, I will take 2!!
This is absolutely hysterical…it’s like, “What will they think of next?”
It’s awesome to know a guy that blogs too! My husband keeps telling me he would like to, but is afraid his guys friends will make fun! I think it says more of your man-hood if you can do what you want to do without worrying what others think!
OMG I am so getting this for my husband's birthday!! LMAO too funny!
I ❤ Your blog! Congrats on being Featured blogger today!!
OMG I am so getting this for my husband's birthday!! LMAO too funny!
I ❤ Your blog! Congrats on being Featured blogger today!!
Hope these are real b/c if they are my father-in-law may be allowed back into my house.
These are hilarious! But I’m sure will truly help some – as always – looking out for your readers!
Seriously?
Like…seriously????
Brilliant. Seriously brilliant. 😉
You have me laughing my head off!! Great way to start the day!
imagine wearing that on a date and it’s the one they made that is a lemon.
Too bad they don’t have options. Such as: 1.) Scented varieties 2.) Absorptive qualities for those moments when you think you’re farting but you’re really sharting 3.) Different colors for those times when you just want to hang out in the nude.
Btw, what exactly are SBDs? Seedy book distributors? Silent but deadlys? Smelly butts of destruction (similar to WMDs)?