Subtle Butt – The Farter’s Dream Come True

sb01We’ve all heard of hot pads, knee pads, and bachelor pads, but farting pads? Well get ready for the hippest new pad since Austin Powers was defrosted–the Subtle Butt. The Subtle Butt is a 3.5″ square soft fiber fabric with an antimicrobal treatment on one side and impregnated with activated carbon on the other side. Simply place inside your undies or pants and fart away with confidence.

Moderately priced at $9.95 for a package of 5, the Subtle Butt is perfect for your bean loving, brussels sprouts eating, chili chowing farting boyfriend/husband/co-worker. Each pad comes with two “strategically placed” adhesive strips making installing them a breeze. The strips not only secure the product to your clothing, but also tell you which side should be against your skin.

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So pick up a pack or two today at guarmentguard.com and don’t let flatualence blow you or your friends away.  Warning:  Best used against SBDs. Subtle Butt makes no claims to muffle the sounds that accompany farting so although your friends won’t smell that you farted, they may still hear it. Now, if they only made a Subtle Butt for dogs, my life would be complete!

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61 thoughts on “Subtle Butt – The Farter’s Dream Come True

  1. Preston says:

    Sandy – That’s the point. But you won’t smell it…

    Wheremyangels – I know I should stock up.

    NJdecorator – Maybe you should say, “WOW, that smells nice…”

  2. Carebear says:

    LOL on the farting pads. Where did you find those? Hilarious! And congrats on the Target card. I entered that giveaway too! Lucky winner you! I actually just came by to tell you that the randomly-selected winner of the Cheesecake Factory gift certificate is Joy from Joy to the Blog. Thanks so much for entering my giveaway, and for becoming a follower! I hope you enjoy my blog! I try to visit at least 2 of my followers daily to spread comment love so I’ll be seeing you soon!

    P.S. Come visit for my best giveaway ever from March 23rd-26th!

  3. sexy says:
  4. DiPaola Momma says:

    Okay so you were 2 ahead of me at roll call this morning… that dog avatar got me here.. funny as poop! And what did I find???? You won MY Target card from Brandy (she’s in the poo house now).. and if that wasn’t enough you got my butt laughing at 6:40 in the A.M. on a Monday, an act unitl this day I would have sworn was simply impossible!! YOU ROCK.. I’m now stalking you.. um following you and I see Brandy, Amiee, Rebecca and a few of the crew are here too! I’m calling a meeting of the cewl kids to find out just WHY I was not notified that this was the place to be!!

  5. Preston says:

    Carebear – Thanks for stopping by and congratulations to Joy on winning MY Cheesecake Factory gift certificate.

    Sexy – Huh? Can anyone translate this?

    Holly Jones – More like mmm…no smell…

    the chocoholic – Thanks for stopping by

    Godiva – Glad you like my site.

    Dipaola Momma – I change my avatar semi-regularly. I recently posted about my dog farting and then I saw this image and I knew it was perfect for my avitar. (At least for now.) Glad I could make you laugh so early on a Monday.

  6. Trenches of Mommyhood says:

    Here from SITS (or BITS?)

    Enjoy your day in the spotlight! (And I def need this product in my stanky Trenches!)

  7. Dan River Mama says:

    Great idea. Too bad it does nothing for the sound. My husband rips some that probably make folks in China drop their chopsticks and run for cover. He’s actually woke the baby before!

  8. Diva Scrapper says:

    OMG..I’m just laughing it up. I’m so going to send that link to my dh. Stopping by from SITS..Congrats on being Saucy for the day!

  9. Our Crazy Life says:

    How wonderful!! I wonder if there is a way to sew it in place so the hubby doesn’t know, unfortunately he loves the fart game and always will!!

  10. Robin Lynne says:

    What *will* they think of next? (I’m here from SITS – Hi BITSah 🙂 )

    You could attach some elastic bands to them for dogs.. err. Yeah! 😛

  11. Lora says:

    I’m not sure how to react to this…laugh? cry? order some for the boyfriend?

    But congrats on being featured at SITS today! 🙂

  12. Manda says:

    Now that is too much! i lost it while i was reading! I swear there is something for everything… hahhahaha! Congrats again on being the feaured blog today.

  13. Jenna Lewis Cox says:

    this might possibly be one of the funniest things i have seen. Do they work for pregnant ladies too?! haha

  14. Jenn Calling Home says:

    That’s great, but there’s still the issue of the noise. Nevertheless, I may buy some for my husband…keep the house smelling pretty and all.

    Congrats on being featured over at SITS.

  15. Oz Girl says:

    O.M.G. You must be joking. And the OMG part is that they will most likely make $$ on this. Just $$ though, not $$$$. I’m guessing.

  16. Anti-Supermom says:

    Genius idea.

    Simply genius or should I say subtle genius.

    Congrats on being Saucy today, be proud of being one of the few awesome male SITStas.

  17. Melanie says:

    Well I was coming by to congratulate you on your saucy day, and found a new product for the hubs! Thanks for sharing! LOL

  18. Tabitha in Bliss says:

    That is indeed crazy! I have heard it all! But, I would love if they made it for dogs as well. LOL

    Visiting from SITS!

  19. Kathy B! says:

    Seriously?! If you’ve got that much gas common sense would say, “get thee to a doctor!” not “come over here and sit on this charcoal pad.”

    What’s that expression? I fool and his money are soon parted… Now please tell me you didn’t actually buy this 🙂

  20. christyzee says:

    LOL..It’s about time! ya know I’ve always told my husband I was gonna stick an air-freshener up there, now I’m corrected, it’s a subtle butt!
    very nice blog!
    blessings…

  21. jules1219 says:

    Something my husband needs, that’s for sure!
    Years ago my brother-in-law got a pair of “fart pants” for x-mas from his parents. His flatulence (sp?) is a well-known fact to contend with whenever we are in his presence. Anyway, these said fart pants were made of a white rubber and had this charcoal insert type thing that was supposed to aborb the smell I guess. Hilarious!

  22. jules1219 says:

    Something my husband needs, that’s for sure!
    Years ago my brother-in-law got a pair of “fart pants” for x-mas from his parents. His flatulence (sp?) is a well-known fact to contend with whenever we are in his presence. Anyway, these said fart pants were made of a white rubber and had this charcoal insert type thing that was supposed to aborb the smell I guess. Hilarious!

  23. Tracey says:

    I’m dying! That is hilarious.
    I mean, really?!?!? Do we need that? Maybe so, considering my husbands, ehem, farting problem.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  24. Maridith says:

    Now I have seen it all but I truly think a woman invented this because she was tired of smelling her husband’s farts. I just wish it would muffle out the noise. Oh well, I will take 2!!

  25. Maridith says:

    Now I have seen it all but I truly think a woman invented this because she was tired of smelling her husband’s farts. I just wish it would muffle out the noise. Oh well, I will take 2!!

  26. Shay says:

    This is absolutely hysterical…it’s like, “What will they think of next?”

    It’s awesome to know a guy that blogs too! My husband keeps telling me he would like to, but is afraid his guys friends will make fun! I think it says more of your man-hood if you can do what you want to do without worrying what others think!

  27. Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom says:

    OMG I am so getting this for my husband's birthday!! LMAO too funny!

    I ❤ Your blog! Congrats on being Featured blogger today!!

  28. Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom says:

    OMG I am so getting this for my husband's birthday!! LMAO too funny!

    I ❤ Your blog! Congrats on being Featured blogger today!!

  29. ~Static~ says:

    Too bad they don’t have options. Such as: 1.) Scented varieties 2.) Absorptive qualities for those moments when you think you’re farting but you’re really sharting 3.) Different colors for those times when you just want to hang out in the nude.

    Btw, what exactly are SBDs? Seedy book distributors? Silent but deadlys? Smelly butts of destruction (similar to WMDs)?

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