Dreams, Stress, Boyfriends, and All That Jazz…

If you have read any of my recent past posts, you’ll know that I have a very busy schedule right now. I leave for Orlando on Tuesday for a BIG trade show and I won’t return until Sunday. My play opens Friday the 13th and when I get back, I will be rehearsing every night until opening day. On top of that, my stepfather’s birthday is the 9th (he’s 93), my good friend Steve’s birthday is the 10th, and my sister’s birthday is the 14th, which is also Valentine’s Day.

So I am crazy busy at work, crazy busy with rehearsing and learning lines, and just plain crazy looking for birthday presents somewhere in between all that AND I have to deal with being single on yet another Valentine’s Day. This all leads to the title of this post. You see, I’ve been dreaming a lot lately and mostly about having a boyfriend.

I think because I’ve changed my eating habits and I’m in “stress” mode, my dreams have become somewhat more vivid. For several nights I have dreamt about having a boyfriend. I remember the dreams when I first awake and then they slowly fade like a fog lifting as the sun breaks through. I don’t remember most of the dreams other than I had a boyfriend in them. But there is something I do distinctly remember.

I remember being in bed and cuddling up to him. (whoever “him” was as I cannot remember what he looked like) But I do remember how I felt–a warm, wonderful feeling of having someone to love and who loves me back. It’s a feeling I’ve known before and even as I type this, the feeling is sweeping over me like a sweet distant memory. When I awoke, I almost felt like someone was sleeping beside me.

I know that I want a boyfriend. I know that I am happy when I have a boyfriend. I know that I don’t like not having a boyfriend BUT I also know that I can live without one without falling apart. Once all this busy stuff has passed and the play is over, I am going to focus on trying to meet someone. But not like before, in bars or online in gay chat rooms. I’ve put my stuff out there before and I am tired of hook-ups and sex driven relationships. Is there someone out there that wants something more? Something lasting? Something worth holding on to?

I believe you’re out there. And I’m coming for you, whoever you are, and wherever you are. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll be looking for someone like me, too. Hey, stranger things have happened. (and I should know cause most of them have happened to me.)


14 thoughts on “Dreams, Stress, Boyfriends, and All That Jazz…

  1. Rachael says:

    It seems that it’s easier to meet someone when you are not looking:-)

    I hope you find that special person that you can find happiness with!

    Good Luck 😉

  2. jewelstreet says:

    February for you sounds like March for me. The busiest time of the year with birthdays every week and all the other stuff.

    Don’t stress out too much, my bloggy friend. Don’t want you to get sick. You need to be as fresh as a daisy for when you meet this someone. 🙂

  3. Lola says:

    Rachel’s right. Maybe even with your crazy schedule you’ll meet someone. As you say, stranger things have happened.

    I never thought about it before, but I guess gay men have it much worse when trying to look for a serious relationship.

    Aren’t you lucky to be off to Orlando!

    Lola (February Blog Luv Comment Site Participant)

  4. Renée aka Mekhismom says:

    I believe that you are going to find someone that is interested in a true romantic relationship. You are a special man and you deserve nothing less.

  5. Dave says:

    You’re a good guy and I know you’ll find somebody special. It may not be right away but hey, good things come to those who wait.

    I’ve been just as absent from my blog, too. Just been busy on the treadmill and tending to family. I’ll get back soon.

    And I dislike Valentine’s Day for one reason: it’s my birthday 😛

  6. Preston says:

    Rachael – I do believe that but I haven’t been looking for a while now and I still haven’t met someone. But I haven’t given up faith, yet.

    Jewelstreet – You’re right. After all, I am supposed to enjoy doing theatre so I must remember that some of my stress is fun stree, if there’s even such a thing.

    Lola – I’m hoping. I really am.

    Renee – Thanks and I hope you’re right.

    Dave – May not be right away? It’s been 5 years. I think right away happened a long time ago! LOL And you share your birthday with my sister.

  7. Mystery Man says:

    wow…sounds like things are about to pick up for you. good thing you’re not superstitious about starting things on friday the 13th!

    Hope you find “him” out there. We all deserve someone we can cuddle up with on a regular basis.

  8. Kathleen says:

    Make sure to enjoy the next couple week's even though sounds like you're going to be busy!

    & I love how you ended your post, he's out there, and you both with stumble across one another in a way you probably never expected!

    Safe travels this week!

  9. Barely Domestic Mama says:

    Good luck at the trade show.

    And I hope you do find that special someone soon.

    I wandered over to your blog from SITS.

  10. TattooedMinivanMom says:

    Am I to take it that you’re partial to the wiles of Asians?

    Or is that just the picture you chose?

    Hang in there sweetie, your knight in shining armor will find you someday when you least expect it!

    Good luck with your play! What’s it about? It is yours cause you wrote it? Directed? What?

  11. WheresMyAngels says:

    Weird, I thought I responded to this post.

    I think your right about not looking in a Bar, as I find so much drama with my friends that do the bar scenes. Also, alot of other stuff I won’t go into.

    I used to be a person whom though I would always have to have someone to make me happy. In the last years I have been happy with myself and realize that I don’t have to have someone else in my life as a partner. I’m glad I do, but if he messes up he is so gone (just joking, he is reading this over my shoulder).

    Relationships are a pain though. Make good choices so you don’t waste your life away on the bad ones. I wasted 13 years with a horrible person and I so regret it. I did get my beautiful daughters out of it though, so i am thankful there.

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