Common Courtesy – Are You A Good Blogger?

When someone says hello to you, do you say hello back?  If someone sends you an email or a text message, do you send one back?  If someone leaves a message on your answering machine, do you call them back?  I bet you do.  Most people would.  So let me ask you this, when someone leaves a comment on your blog, do you comment back?  I bet most of you don’t.

Why would you extend the common courtesy of a response to any means of communication yet ignore the comments on your blog?  First of all, you’ve taken time and effort to write a post for your blog. And someone out there has taken the time and effort to not only read your post, but write a comment to it.  Doesn’t that deserve an acknowledgement?

A month or so ago, I was one of those rude misguided bloggers who never responded to any comments on my posts. Oh, I read them, enjoyed them, and wanted more.  But I never responded and I don’t know why I didn’t.  Then I read a post from someone (sorry I do not remember who it was) regarding this very subject. It got me thinking.
I posted a lot of comments on a lot of political blogs during this past election. I would excitedly revisit those blogs to see my comment posted and to look for any response from the blogger.  The best part was reading the response and often responding to that response.  In fact, I enjoyed the blog better when there was a little dialogue going on.  And I enjoyed reading other comments and their responses.  So if I did it on their blogs, why wasn’t I doing it on mine?
Dave at Holographic Meatloaf always responds to my comments as well as Ken at Dad To Two and Brian and Steven over at Green Dads.  Another blogger who always responds to comments is Kathy over at The Junk Drawer.  The Junk Drawer is arguably one of the better blogs around and I think a part of its success is that Kathy responds to every comment she gets.  And she gots a lot. A whole lot.  If she can do it, so can I. (It also helps that she is an excellent writer and her blog is just plain fun to read.)

So I started posting responses to every comment on my blog, even if it was just to say thanks for stopping by.  And you know what? I love it! It makes blogging so much more rewarding.  I feel like I’m really reaching out to people and they are reaching out to me.  Trust me, nothing’s worse than leaving what you think is a cool and clever response to a post and the blogger does not respond.  Am I not worthy? Was what I said so stupid and worthless that it did not deserve a response?  Do I want my blogger guests to feel like that? I sure don’t!

If you want people to come back to your blog, treat them with respect.  Let them know you appreciate their comments by commenting back.  It’s common courtesy.  Don’t hide behind your computer.  Don’t be that guy driving down the highway picking his nose and thinking no one can see him when we all can.  (I don’t know what that has to do with blogging but I just hate it when people do that.) Remember this, people who read your blog are your guests and, in a way, your customers as well. Treat them as such and they will come back again and again.

Disclaimer: If you do leave responses and I left you out, don’t think I don’t appreciate you cause I sure do. I just wanted to give a few examples and I couldn’t list everyone.

131 thoughts on “Common Courtesy – Are You A Good Blogger?

  1. Raquel says:

    Good questions! Since I started blogging, I always (sometimes I can’t) reply the comments. But I will surely return a visit and leave a comment. I think that is one way to maintain a good relationship in both parties.

  2. jewelstreet says:

    This is a very good post! I think the best bloggers are ones who respond in some way to their comments. It makes people feel connected and wanted.

  3. Preston says:

    Raquel – Thank you. I’m glad you like the post. I know that it can be time consuming to respond to all comments but once you get into the habit, it gets easier. And I do enjoy the relationships it builds with other bloggers.

    Jewelstreet – I’m glad you liked my post. I was hoping it would get people thinking. It’s good to feel connected and wanted, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by.

  4. Lidian says:

    Preston, I totally agree! I used to write every commenter an e mail but then I switched to responding in the comments which I try to do by the next day. I am never sure if people go back and see that, but I really want to let everyone know how much I appreciate their comments.

  5. Raquel says:

    It makes me discourage because most of my friends are into paid blogging. One instance, I left a comment on a monetized blog, and I felt that my comment had been neglected. I think they are just making an updates just to comply the requirement of in between filler before the paid post article.

  6. Needless To Say says:

    You’re right, Preston, and I feel a little guilty because I often avoid responding to comments. You’ve made me vow to be better about that. (maybe not perfect, but better) Good post!

  7. whatigotsofar says:

    I’ve always tried to respond to comments on my blog. Even if its just to say “hello” or “thanks.”

    Oh, and hello there.

  8. sandy says:

    Preston, your are so right! I really try to respond to everyone. If they took the time to visit me I want to return the favor. I love people and good conversations. Sometimes being a SAHM is lonely and I this is a great way to connect with other people.

  9. Preston says:

    Lidian – Spot on. I’m sure that not everyone comes back to see if you commented but I bet a good portion do. It’s nice to be appreciated, isn’t it?

    raquel – I don’t bother with blogs that continually ignore my comments unless it’s a really good blog. I understand that some comments don’t really need a response, but when I make a comment that obviously deserves a response and doesn’t get it, it sours me on that blog.

    Needless To Say – You should feel guilty!!! LOL Seriously, responding to comments is a good thing. You better watch out cause I’m gonna test that vow!

    Whatigotsofar – Good for you and hello there back atcha!

    Sandy – I bet being a SAHM can be lonely and I’m glad you found some company with blogging. You’re always welcome here!

  10. Tiffany says:

    You nailed it Preston! This is absolutely the best and nicest way to build your blog.

    It actually creates a relationship.

    Since starting SITS, the comments on my personal blog have increased dramatically. Sometimes 60 or 70 on a single post.

    Between being a mom, managing SITS and running my business, I have found it so hard to get back to every comment. I tired, but ended up exhausted. So now I try to get back to everyone once a week, but even that’s tough!

    Great post. I so enjoy your blog!

  11. Preston says:

    Tiffany – I too think it’s the best and nicest way to build your blog. And listen girl, I don’t know how you manage what you do and still find time to leave comments on other people’s blogs. How many SITS members are there? I am assuming about 325 active ones? OMG!

    I must say that I truly love being a part of SITS. I’ve met some great bloggers and it’s been a total joy!

  12. Rebecca Jo says:

    It really makes you want to come back to a blog when you see the blogger respond to you….

    That’s what really builds a blog community once you start “talking” to people who take the time to listen to you in the first place.

    Enjoyed this post!

  13. Taylor says:

    Preston, I am guilty of not replying to all comments, and I hope I didn’t tick you off by not replying to your last comment on my blog. Your comment was quite clever and I always enjoy your humor. I guess I just did’t have a great response, but I’ll shortly fix that.

    Reasons I may not reply:
    1. I know some comments are from people that never return to check comments. These are usually the quick “looks good” or “awesome” comments
    2. I’ve already written the post, so don’t like to dominate the discussion (if there is one), but if I feel that I need to elaborate on a point, defend my position, or make a correction, then I’ll comment.

    Reasons I reply:
    1. You ask me a question.
    2. You email me. All emails get a response – except PR mass mailings, and vulgar or crazy emails.
    3. Mood strikes me.

  14. Preston says:

    Rebecca Jo – It sure does. I like the dialog that often develops.

    Taylor – I don’t get ticked off all the time when my comments don’t get a response. I read your blog cause I like it and you provide really good information about local eateries. And you are right, some comments don’t really warrant a response. I had a bunch of comments that simply said, “Merry SITSmas.” I don’t think those people are returning to see if I posted a response. You’ve commented enough for me to know that you’re listening. 🙂

  15. Ivanhoe says:

    I think you inspired me to do my best and try to respond to all of the comments at my blog as well. So far, I was only answering questions :o)

  16. Contrariwise says:

    I’m the same. I love getting comments and wish for more, but I usually didn’t respond to them unless it was a direct question.

    You made so many good points. I’m now going to change my perspective on this and respond more to commenters.


  17. Preston says:

    Ivanhoe – Good for you! Trust me, you’ll find it lots of fun!

    Contrariwise – Yay! I’m glad you agree with me. Your readers will really appreciate it.

    Heather – Go right ahead. I love SITS. You’re more than welcome to reference anything on my blog. After all, gay men just adore the spotlight. I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

  18. Renée aka Mekhismom says:

    I think that as you are building a community it is great to respond to comments. As a person that comments on blogs excessively – I can tell you that I don’t go back to read the comment section. I don’t have time to do that. And I don’t respond to comments in my comment section either.

    I will try to visit everyone that comments on my blog – maybe once a week. It becomes very overwhelming when you reach a certain number of comments to try to respond individually to every one.

    When I comment on a post with 20 – 30 comments (not by the author) I understand that I am not likely to get a visit. But it does make me happy if/when they stop by and say hello even if it is months later.

    I spent a long time agonizing over visiting every single person everyday and asked some people that have very popular blogs how they manage it. The advice given to me was: do what works for you otherwise this will encompass your entire life to the detriment of your family.

    Great post.

  19. Renée aka Mekhismom says:

    Oh, one more thing. I also post on my blog nearly everyday. With the exception of weekends. If I posted 3 times a week it would certainly be easier to visit every person that comments.

  20. Preston says:

    Renee – I agree with your friend, do whatever works for you. I know that some people don’t respond to my comments but every now and then they post a comment to my blog. And that’s ok cause it reminds me that they do check my blog out, at least every once in a while.

    And I definitely do not run back to every post comment I make to see if the blogger has posted a response. Some comments don’t really require a response. But when I post a comment that should elicit a response and I don’t get one, it’s a little disappointing.

    Do what you can but never do anything to the detriment of your family. But remember this, you sell some pretty darn cute diaper cakes and every one who posts a comment is a potential customer. Even me cause I have friends who have babies…

  21. Steven at Green Dads says:

    Well, I try to respond to comments but there are a good number that I don’t respond to.

    There are comments that don’t seem to be looking for a response, just someone trying to put their two cents in.

    Hmmm, like this one? 🙂

  22. Preston says:

    Renee – Regarding “one more thing” – OMG if I regularly visited every person who commented on my blog, I’d never do anything else. I’m talking about writing a short comment right after you read their comment. Yikes! LOL

  23. koopermom says:

    Thanks for the comment on my blog! I found it funny when I came to yours to comment back and your post was on that very subject! So, yes, I do try to always respond, or at least visit the commenters!

    P.S. – I didn’t make it to your SITS post the other day – glad I saw it now! NICE outfits and great Jesus hair!!

  24. Renée aka Mekhismom says:

    Preston – Here is one thing that I do like to do that I failed to mention – respond by email. If everyone – including you my new friend, changed their blogger setting so that a response can be sent by email that is a God send. I like sending emails it is quick and easy.

  25. angie says:

    Preston, both you and Renee have very good points. I’m guilty of not responding to comments, although I definitely go to the commenters blog and leave a comment for them.

    I know everyone has their own way they do things, so I don’t think negatively when someone doesn’t do it. But it is exciting when someone does!

    I’m adding this to my New Year’s Resolution list!

  26. Preston says:

    Koopermom – Thanks for coming back to comment. And yes, I loved my Jesus hair, lol.

    Renee – I am still a novice at this blogging thing but I am getting better. I scoured blogger to find something that allows email comments but I see no setting. What am I overlooking?

  27. Preston says:

    Oh Steven! I agree that some comments don’t really require a response but others do, so use your descretion. I guess you always respond to my comments because they are so well thought out and enlightening. (cough, cough, hack, hack)

  28. Preston says:

    Angie – Everyone has their own way of working their blog. I think the best way is respond to comments that need response and leave the others be. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  29. Aubrey says:

    Like Angie, I give love back by visiting that person’s blog and leaving a comment. Most blogs I visit don’t comment on their comments. For me, once I visit a blog with a new posting, I won’t go back until they have updated again (thru google reader). I won’t check back to see if they left a response to my comment (except for yours! LOL) I gotta say it is pretty exciting though to see what you gotta say!
    I also have my comments go to my email so someone asks a question or was WAY funny, I’ll respond back to them that way.
    Does that count?

  30. Preston says:

    Aubrey – Again whatever works for you. Currently I can comment on my comments so that is what I do. I do get some emails that are responses to my comments and those are cool too. I don’t know how to do that though.

  31. Dave says:

    Thanks for the notes, Preston. Part of the reason I blog is because I really do enjoy hearing what readers have to say as well as responding to their comments. It makes things much more personal and I dig that, and it will stay that way unless I start getting hundreds of comments per post, which I doubt will ever happen.

    Now I may not always post a comment on my favorite blogs but you can always bet I will respond to any comment left on mine. Because that’s how your pal Dave rolls at Holographic Meatloaf 🙂

  32. Rachael says:

    I reply to every comment I receive by visiting the commenters blogs and commenting there. It works for me…but I am not that popular yet! I have a manageable amount of blogs to visit. But…it also gives me the chance to discover new and exciting blogs! Great post Preston…..I am going to be one of your devoted followers 🙂 I see it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days. hahahah

  33. Preston says:

    Dave – I know what you mean. I really enjoy the comments and reactions I get from my readers. (My readers? Hmmm, that sounds strange) Anyway, you never know how many hits your blog is eventually gonna get dude.

    I have to tell you, Dave, that I discovered your blog because I was looking for food blogs and I thought your blog’s names was so way cool. (I adore meatloaf) So a really cool blog name helps too. 🙂

    Renee – I will so try this. Thanks for your help. And yes, I get my comments by email.

    Rachael – Another devoted follower! Gee, I’m blushing. 🙂 And replying by visiting a blog and leaving a comment is just as good as commenting on your own post, as far as I’m concerned. (I’ve made it. I’m finally “in” with the “in” crowd!)

  34. MomItForward Jyl and Carissa says:

    Hey there the back and forth here is cracking me up! Thanks Renee for sending out the link!

    I have to say at first I could and did respond to every comment, and very often returned the comment to their blog…

    But lately! CANNOT keep up! For a while there I was even actively recruiting all those no-reply blogger types so I COULD reply to their comments via email… again, i just can’t keep up!

    And Renee– only posting a few times a week isn’t helping me either!! ha! I just have a lot of other pots boiling right now… I very often keep up with bloggy pals via Twitter!


    Should you care!

  35. Preston says:

    gno gals, jyl and carissa – I’m glad the back and forth is cracking you up. It’s all about the fun. I understand about not being able to keep it up all the time. Hey, we all have lives. I belong to Entrecard and believe you me, it’s tough trying to drop cards every day. Thanks for stopping boy and good luck with all those pots!

  36. Dad to Two says:

    Awww man!, Now I feel bad since I hadn’t actually been commenting on enough of the comments. I am relatively new to blogging, and it was good to read your blog post. It kind of reminds me about what the right thing to do is. It should be more like a conversation between blogger and reader and I had been letting that part slide a little. Thanks for helping me get back on track.

  37. Preston says:

    Ken – You are such a good blogger and I hadn’t noticed that you had slowed down on your comments. But you’re right, it should be more like a conversation between blogger and reader. Good way to put it!

  38. Mystery Man says:

    First of all, thanks for all the comments youl evae when you stop by my blog.

    Second, I used to respond to comments, but for some reason I stopped. I seem to remember blogging about this subject. Maybe I’m the one you’re talking about…lol

    I’m going to try and get back to responding to comments. No need to be rude. If someone takes the time to read my random ramblings, then I can take the time to respnd to them.

  39. A Free Man says:

    You’ve just guilted me into responding to my comments for the last few days. I usually do, but have been lazy/busy this week.

    Digging your site. Particularly the previous two posts. Great stories you have. (Why am I writing like Yoda speaks?). Glad to have found my way here.

  40. says:

    Great article! 🙂 I do my best to reply to all comments on my blog as well. The ‘back and forth’ is what it’s all about!

  41. Kathy says:

    Preston — Thanks for the shout-out, and you are correct. I firmly believe part of my relative success is that I’ve developed a community feel by responding to comments. Every one.

    You’ve characterized commenters exactly as I do; that they are visitors in my “house” and I want them to feel acknowledged and welcomed. The conversation in the comments section is part of what makes blogging so rewarding for me, and I hope also for my readers.

    Great piece, my friend!

  42. Preston says:

    Mystery Man – You are so welcome. I enjoy your blog. And you could be the blog I was referring to but I just don’t remember. It’s terrible when you get old and feeble like me. LOL

    A Free Man – Nothing says lovin’ like a big dose of guilt. I know sometimes it’s hard to respond because we do have lives outside of blogging but you just do the best you can. Glad you dig my blog.

    Laura – Yes, I love the back and forth to.

    Kathy – Thank you. You were my inspiration, did you know that? I love reading your blog and you always make me feel “at home” when I’m reading it.

  43. Preston says:

    JD – You sure do girlfriend. Your blog is another one that I enjoy visiting over and over again. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  44. foongpc says:

    Can’t agree with you more! I appreciate every comments on my blog and I take time to reply to every one of them. I don’t like bloggers who don’t reply to my comments on their blogs, and you can be sure if they continue not to reply, I will even stop visiting their blogs!

  45. Michelle says:

    I one time read that you should do this, but how many people come back to see if you responded to a comment they left? I don’t think many people do unless they know that is how you respond.

    I always visits bloggers who leave comments and leave something either via email or on their blog.

    BTW: If I didn’t say this during the SITs day, I love your little icon. It always catches my eye!

    Oh and want to thrill commenters even more? Turn off your word verification. 🙂

  46. Preston says:

    Foongpc – Like I said, it’s common courtesy. If I don’t get a reply, I feel like I’m being ignored.

    Mrs. S – Thanks for stopping by. SITS members are always welcome and that’s the whole point of SITS, to get more comment luv!

    Michelle – I am not sure how many people actually come back to see if a response is posted, but I do know that if I make a comment that I think deserves a reply, I do return looking for the reply. If I say something like “Oh, that was a really good post,” then no, I don’t return looking for a reply.

    I am afraid to remove word verification because I don’t want junk comments. But I stopped by your blog and yours is off so as soon as I post this comment, word verification is history!!!

  47. Penny says:

    I definitely agree. I usually reply to my comments, either on my site and/ or via email. I have commented on blogs regularly in the past, and when they never replied it did kind of put me off as blogging is all about the comments!

  48. Preston says:

    Penny – I’m glad you agree. I’ve always commented on the blog’s post and never really thought about responding via email, but that sure is a viable alternative.

  49. Queenie Jeannie says:

    I don’t reply on my blog, but try to visit everyone who DOES leave a comment, on their blogs. Does that make sense??

    Perhaps your way is better? But what if the person never came back?? If I go to them, at least I feel like I’m returning the favor. Just a thought…

  50. Preston says:

    Queenie Jeannie – A reply is a reply is a reply, whether it’s done on your post, the other guys post, or through email. It really doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do it..or at least try to do it with some regularity. Stick with what works best for you.

  51. Babette says:

    Ooops, I am guilty of this sometimes. I do try to answer comments especially if they have a question. I know of a couple of blogs where in they never acknowledge that I’m alive. hmmp! I had a question and it went unanswered. So I stopped reading and commenting on their blogs.

  52. Preston says:

    Babette – I think asking a question and having it ignored is just about the worst thing a blogger could do to a reader. Even if a blogger doesn’t normally respond to comments, a question should always be answered. I too would not have returned to that blog!

  53. TattooedMinivanMom says:

    Found it!

    I’m quick huh?

    Even if I don’t have time to visit everyone’s blog that comments to my blog everyday I at least email them back a response.

    I don’t think they think they are talking to a wall when they leave comments. I know that I like to be answered when I leave comments.

    Which is why I like it when people have their “no reply” commenter switched to show their email address. And I LOVE it that yours finally does too!

    I don’t always make it back to read subsequent comments that are written after mine but I think it’s cool that you do that.

    Um, can I put in a formal request for you to answer me through email? Not to be a pain in the ass or anything but I want to know what you said back. You throw some zingers at me and I do love to be put in my place 😉

  54. TMI Tara says:

    I am all about the comment etiquette. Excellent post. I wish everyone in the blogosphere would read it and become a bit more courteous! I love me some comments!!!

  55. {leah} says:

    Thanks for the post, I had never thought about it this way before. Question.. do you reply only here or do you go to their blog and post a comment there too?

  56. BoufMom9 says:

    Excellent post! I actually have a blinkie on my blog that reads “You comment, I follow”. I hate to think if I ever miss responding to anyone.

  57. TuTu's Bliss says:

    great here is the question do you blog on over and respond on their post or respond under their comment on your own blog. I personally like to see return comments on my blog, that way they don’t get lost in the shuffle!! GREAT POST, thank you

  58. Tiffany @ Lattes And Life says:

    ABSOLUTELY!!! I started doing that awhile back. I’ll either comment back on my blog or go to their blog and leave them a comment. It’s so frustrating when bloggers don’t respond. Or what’s worse is when I give another blogger an award and they never even acknowledge it, or say thank you. I promptly take them off my blogroll and quit reading. Thanks for posting this. I think I’m going to link to it today…

  59. HeatherY says:

    I usually reply in an e-mail or visit their blog! It is always nice to be acknowledged. Plus, that’s what blogging is all about right!

  60. What A Card says:

    This is really interesting. I’m glad to have found you through SITS. I never go back to check comments of entries I’ve commented on, so I don’t always reply in the comment section of my blog, assuming most people don’t check back (unless, of course, it was an actual question then of course I reply in the comment section). I try to visit the blogs of people who visit me, though I don’t have *that* many readers, so it’s still manageable.

    I went through a month or two where I responded to every comment in the text of my next blog entry, but it became cumbersome…it took too long to write blog posts, and the posts became ridiculously long. I don’t know, it’s interesting, and something to think about. Now I’ll just have to remember to actually check back to this comment section 🙂

  61. Tiffany says:

    thanks for the reminder. I visit the blogs of people who leave me comments but I don’t always respond on my blog to their comments. I’ll be changing that!

  62. Charmaine says:

    All right, all right… I usually go to the person’s blog to comment back, but I guess I could do it in the comments. That might be fun actually… And plus, when I look at the post and see that I have twice as many comments as I used to get… I feel more important. That’s like the chocolate ganache icing on the cake!

  63. Denise says:

    I had no idea what to do with the comments on my blog. COULD I answer? Was that how it was done? Then one day I realized it was MY blog and I could whatever I wanted so I started having conversations in my comment section and I really started getting to know my readers! I love it!

  64. Lindsey says:

    Thank you for your honesty on this subject! I really wish everyone in bloggy world would read this! When people do not respond to my comments, especially when I have left several, It makes me feel I am intruding on a private post and shouldn’t give my two cents! I truly enjoyed this post and hope it changes the way some people blog!

  65. Jenners says:

    Visiting from SITS! Great thoughts! I think the biggest reason people might not comment is lack of time…I know I try to visit the blogs of everyone who has commented on mine to return the favor but if you get tons of comments this can quickly get really difficult to do. I try to give back as much as possible and I guess a simple acknowledgement in the comments could be done. Might be hard to write to everyone but it is worth a try!!!

    Also, if I participate in a linky effort, I try to visit at least 20 of the other posts. The biggest problem for me is not having enough time….if I was being paid and had all day to do this, I would do it!!!

  66. TattooedMinivanMom says:

    BITS? Is that like twigs and berries?

    I decided to come back and check to see what you wrote back to everyone.

    Are you changing things up on me again? Or do you have actual responsibilities in life and can’t sit around answering comments all day?

  67. JamieH says:

    Hi! I’m visiting from SITS. Great post…I’m guilty of being one of those who has neglected to to respond to comments on my blog but I am trying to get better about it as I go along.

  68. Reluctant Housewife says:

    Do you mean that bloggers should reply to comments in their own comments section? Or that we should email a reply? Or that we should return the favour with a comment on the commenter’s blog (which is what I usually do)?

    Great post. I agree that the discussions comments generate are one of the most important parts of blogging.

  69. So Not Mom-a-licious says:

    I have been struggling with this topic for a couple of weeks! It’s easier for me to reply back to people via email, since I can not always get to the internet. But since so many people end up being “no-reply” commenters, I felt bad that I was leaving so many people out! Then I tried visiting those blogs, so that I could comment on their blog with a thank you for stopping by. But that can also become overwhelming, because then I was trying to read all of these blogs and retain info about the people so I could leave a sincere comment. But with a 1 year old my time to sit and read is limited. Oh the commenting dilemma! Maybe I will give this a try!

  70. Em says:

    Excellent points! But when I realized that I was loosing sleep over the guilt of not getting back to everyone, I’ve learned to let it go, a little.

    I LOVE the e-mail reply thing – I’ve actually developed some nice bloggy friendships through e-mail. The non-reply blogger e-mails really slow my roll.

    I actually did an informal survey on this a couple of weeks ago (

    The general consensus from my little slice of peeps is that e-mails back are great, not expected. If non-reply blogger, come visit their site and leave a comment there. Last was leave a return comment in your own comments.

    Great post!! Etiquette in any form seems to be a dying art. Thanks for reminding us!

    Em (visiting from SiTS – but I’ll be back)

  71. White Iris Designs says:

    Couldn't agree with you more.
    I feel that visiting a blog and not leaving a comment or not responding to comments made on your blog is like being invited to someones home for dinner, eating the most delicious meal ever & not thanking the hostess!
    You have just walked in ..taken something wonderful with you when you leave & not acknowledged that you enjoyed it & are grateful for the experience.

  72. Preston says:

    Tattoed Minivan Mom – I knew you would find it. And yes, I changed my “NO REPLY” to my email address once I realized I could do that. Some people prefer emailing responses than posting them in their comments. Do whatever works for you.

    Personally, I like to post my comments cause if I’m gonna hit you with a zinger, I want all of the world to see it. (Well, all of my little blogging world, anyway.) I realize that you may be too busy to check back on comments cause your time is all taken up with measuring Mr. Minivan Mom’s pee pee and forcing your children to wear masks in public. (ZING!)

    Tara – Comment etiquette is where it’s at! Who doesn’t love comments?

    Leah – I comment here and sometimes go to their blogs. If it’s someone I visit regularly, I know I will get to them. If it’s someone new, I go check out their blog. Of course, it’s easier to do when you have a small amount of comments. Eventually though I will visit all.

    Boufmom9 – Thank you. I’ve actually seen that blinkie. What a clever idea!

    Tutu’s Bliss – I don’t blog on over and respond to a comment on a post of mine because my comment won’t have anything to do with the other blogger’s post that I will need to leave my response on. I do try to visit blogs of those who comment on mine. I will then comment on one of that bloggers posts but the comment will be about the post I am commenting on. Does that make sense? (I’m soo confused now)

    Tiffany – You’re such a good gal! It is frustrating when a blogger never ever responds to posts. And the award thing is crazy sometimes. I know I got an award and was going to respond but got busy. It was like a week and a half later when I remembered. I was so panicked and it took me forever reading through all my past comments until I finally found the one containing the award! Whew!!

    Megryansmom – I love reindeer games except for leap frog. (Damn those antlers!)

    Heathery – Since posting this subject I have discovered that a lot of people respond to comments via email. And some don’t respond but go and visit the other blog and leave a response there. These are all viable choices.

    Mandy – Thanks! SITS or BITS it’s all cool to me.

    What a Card – But you still are a courteous blogger because you respond to questions and you visit your reader’s blogs and make comments there. Everyone has their own system and as long as you do something to acknowledge your readers, you are a good blogge!

    Melissa Papaj Photography – Most of the time is good too. In all honesty, comments like, “Stopping by from SITS. Great blog!” really don’t require a response. I just respond to all because it’s easier to just go down the list and respond to each in order.

    Tiffany – You’re welcome! It’s nice when someone responds to what you have to say.

    Randalswife – Well put! Comments are the icing on the cake! Yummy, now who wants some cake?

    Denise – You are absolutely right, girl. It’s your blog and you can do whatever you want with it! The best thing about responding to comments is that you really do get to know your readers better!

  73. Sturgmom says:

    Interesting. I always comment back on the person’s blog to thank them for stopping by. Wouldn’t visiting the person’s blog and leaving some love there be preferable to keeping all the love on my own blog? 😉

    I actually haven’t given much thought to commenting back on my OWN blog, although I have done it a time or two. I didn’t realize I was breaking bloggy etiquette. Thanks for this post!

  74. Jerrie says:

    Nice post. I don’t usually comment in my own comment section. I usually visit the other person’s blog and comment there. I have found some mighty fine blogs that way! I do comment back, sometimes, on my book blog…

    Anyway. I like the look here…very glam! 🙂

  75. Brandy says:

    Excellent post! My favorite (and quickest way) to respond is by email but sometimes that dang “no-reply” gets in the way. When that happens I will visit their blog and post a comment.

    I hardly ever respond to comments within comments because I don’t go back and look for them so I don’t expect others too.

  76. ElleBee says:

    You know, I never really thought about it. I respond occasionally to comments on my blog, but it always seemed odd to be commenting on my own blog. I guess there’s probably nothing wrong with commenting on your own blog AND visiting somewhere else and leaving a comment. The more, the merrier! 🙂

  77. keeper of the chocolates says:

    hmmm….. I have never looked at blogging in this way. there are times I do comment back in my own comments…but i never knew it was ‘good etiquette’ to do so. I make it a point to always comment on their blog…hey we all love comments, and i have 4 kids and a crazy life, so it would take the joy out of blogging for me to be a slave to ensuring i comment back to every one in my own comments. not to mention, there is only so much ‘online time’ that i have to dole around these days, and i would rather have to agree with Sturgmom, I would rather visit that person, and respond on their own blog, give that person some blog love, read up on their new posts and hang out in their domain for while since I have to choose between the two places to comment.

    just my 02. i love the bling on your blog;)

    all the best,

  78. Karen says:

    Good post! I sometimes respond to comments directly, in the comment thread of my post, but more commonly I respond by clicking over to the other person’s blog and leaving them a comment there. I’m going to try to do the first one more, now. I think sometimes we assume that other bloggers are just like us (the self-centered thing) and I’m not the type to go back and check comment threads to see if anyone responded to my comment, unless I asked a question in it, so I didn’t realize that other people do commonly check back. Now I know! Thanks!

  79. Kelly says:

    I am guilty of not responding to every comment but I am going to try to from now on…sounds like a good New Year’s Resolution if you ask me!! 🙂

  80. Irene says:

    Ah…such true words. It is a quest of mine to respond to each and every comment I get. Thanks for the reminder in bloggy etiquette. It has taken me about a year to understand tat so much of blogging is getting involved and “socializing”, not simply posting and sitting back wondering “When will they come?”. I am a slow learner sometimes.Sigh.

  81. Janna Bee says:

    I totally agree with this… and sometimes it can get daunting to respond to everyone, but I always try to in some way shape or form, because I know how much I appreciate the response I get.

  82. Kari Dawson says:

    That’s a fine line for me. I comment back to let others know I appreciate the time they spent reading my own blog. But, I don’t want to be bombarded with comments unless the readers truly enjoy and/or are touched by what I have posted. Don’t stop by just so I’ll comment on yours, kinda thing. I also don’t want to then feel obligated to read a really bad blog just because they read mine. Fine lines…

  83. Preston says:

    Sturgmom – Do what works for you. I’m all for spreading around some blogging love! As long as you acknowledge your readers in some way, either in your comments, their comments, or via email, then you’re not breaking any bloggy etiquette!

    Jerrie – I am glad you like the look of my blog and it sounds like you have found a way to respond that works for you!

    Brandy – I only recently learned about how to get rid of my “no-reply” status. Maybe I should write a post about how to do that. Hmmm. I think a lot of people don’t go back to the original posts to read responses but let me ask you this: If you were leaving a comment on a post and you see that the blogger has responded to all of the previous comments, might you be curious enough to go back and see if he/she has responded to yours?

    Ellebee – It seemed odd to me at first too but now it’s just part of the routine!

    Keeper of the Chocolates – I agree that time restraints can make it difficult to respond to every comment. Do your best and try to respond to comments that really actually do need a response and let the “Hi. Just stopping by,” comments stand on their own. (Glad you love my bling. I love it too)

    Karen – Do what works best for you. Many of the bloggers who have commented here have different systems that work for them. 🙂

  84. ScrappinAway says:

    Wow, learned a couple of new things by reading this post (got 2 new wrinkles in my brain!)
    1. Didn’t know about the No Reply will have to figure that out!
    2. Didn’t realize that people left comments for people that commented on their blog in their own post. Will definetly have to go back and check that out. I have to say though most people have been really great about replying to my comments and I love it. I am pretty new to the whole blogging thing, but it is sooooo addictive, I think I may need to go to a BA meeting (do they have those yet?)

  85. Jaina says:

    Well said. I reply to all the comments left on my blog because I truly appreciate people taking time to leave them. I’m over from SITS, btw. I love this post. 🙂

  86. tidymom says:

    Awesome post and I’m glad you’ve addressed this! I often don’t know how to reply to comments – I usually do so by going to their blog and comment back – but then my other readers miss out on “the rest of the conversation”

    I think I’m going to start trying to comment back on MY blog more often! – I know I enjoy it on other blogs!


  87. A Mommy in Jeans and High Heels says:

    You’re absolutely right – and I Thank You for opening my big blue eyes. You broke it down Sweetie!! I will officially be replying to my comments from here on out! ((hugs))

    ~From SITS~

  88. blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell says:

    I would never have thought to go back to the blog and check for a response. I’ll go back but not to the same post, only to the newer ones so I wouldn’t see that kind of follow-up.

    I respond either by email or by going to the other person’s blog or sometimes both.

  89. Alicia @ Oh2122 says:

    Great post!

    If I’m featured somewhere or if someone has a good comment/question, I will click through and leave them a comment in reply. Sometimes I answer generaly in my next post.

    However, I regularly do something I call “Comment Love” where I do a whole post just replying to comments. It helps answer questions, and shows my readers that I’m actually listening, but it also lets them see what everyone else is saying and take a peek at some new blogs.

    I’m actually due for a Comment Love post later this week!

  90. •´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Erin.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• says:

    This is something that I need to work on, apparently I’m a bloggin noob even though I’ve been doing it for a while now. I’ve had my comments replied to that shows up directly in my email, “RE: Comment Blah blah…” for example. How can I do that for my readers?

  91. Live.Love.Eat says:

    Great post. I agree on common courtesy and I always from Day 1 acknowledge someone and visit in return. The only thing I don’t understand though is when a blog owner comments on their own blog as a response to someone’s comment. That means the person who left a comment has to then come back to the post where they left a comment to see if there was a response by the blog’s owner.

  92. Carrie says:

    I vote you the Bloggiquette King!

    I try very hard to reply, but every once in a while I forget. Because I am dumb…

    And I pretty much never remember to check the little box to email follow up comments. Grrr…

    One of these days I will get it together. Until then, I’ll be a ditzy SITSta!

  93. Laurel Plum says:

    Very good point. I am guilty of not always responding in the comments. I guess I feel like the articles are so “Me, I, Me, I” that I need to butt out of the comments as much as possible. I do try to send a note to by e-mail or some other way, and have made some good friends that way – but I realize I am cutting everyone else out of the conversation. Thank you and the SITS girls for making the point. ;^)

  94. AngiDe- Nana's Box says:

    Dang! Thanks for saying what I was thinking! Mind if I link your post on my blog?? That way my non-commenting friends will get the hint?? =)

    “Nana’s Box”

  95. Gaspegirl says:

    Well ok then!

    Actually, I think that we all love some bloggy love – so I am leaving some for you now 😉

    Great blog entry!

    Make it a great day

  96. ♥spoiled mommy♥ says:

    I totally agree with giving people that respect. I respond to every comment I get, even if its not on the same day, I save the email and respond back eventually.
    Now I dont know much about responding back in a comment, I guess I wasnt sure if that person would come back and read it again to see, thats why I send a email. I KNOW the person will get it and read what I wrote.
    Thanks to the SITS site now I have found another new blog to stalk.
    Enjoyed reading your stuff. 🙂

  97. Jennifer says:

    I always respond to all my commenters and I have to admit that it hurts my feeling when I leave comments (especially if I leave them often) and never get a response back. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me–but it does!!

  98. Tracy P. says:

    The irony of Heather and Tiffany sending like 200 commenters over to THIS post is totally cracking me up. I’m glad you included email and the commenter’s blog as possible responses. If I go and comment on someone’s post, the chances of me remembering to go back and check for a response are pretty much none. I used to before I started commenting on WAY too many blogs!

  99. Clippergirl56 says:

    Visiting from SITS. I have not been as good as I should have been in responding to comments. I totally understand now that I have read your post.

  100. Preston says:

    Kelly – Let’s hear it for New Year’s Resolutions! Your readers will love you for it.

    Irene – I know how you feel. I was sitting back and waiting for them in my blog field of dreams. LOL It’s nice to be social.

    Janna – Yes, I have learned the hard way that it can be a daunting task. But I know I can keep it up.

    Kari Dawson – I understand the fine lines. You can always pick and choose which comments you respond to. After all, a simple comment like this, “Nice blog.” doesn’t really need a response.

    Scrappinaway – Hey, I’ve only been blogging for 6 months so I am kind of a newbie too. I liked getting replies to my comments and that’s why I started replying. I didn’t know about the No Reply thing either.

    Jaina – Thanks Jaina. I love you SITS gals. And it’s nice to be appreciated.

    Tidymom – That’s why I started commenting directly to my posts. I love reading the comments and the bloggers responses as well.

    A Mommy in Jeans and High Heels – You go girl. Gee, jeans, high heels, and big blue eyes. (You forgot to mention blonde too) Your hotty husband’s one lucky guy.

    Blueviolet – I only check back when I leave a comment that I think deserves a response OR if I know the blogger always responds to comments. Do what works best for you.

    Oh2122 – What an awesome idea. I love that you do a Comment Love post. How clever. Fighting off all that testosterone in your househould sure has paid off.

    erin – Do you get comment notification in your email? If you do, you can respond right from that email–as long as the commenter isn’t a No Reply blogger. – I see where you are coming from. The reason I comment in my blog is because it’s all part of my blog. What if someone read someone else’s comment and wanted to see my reaction. It’s like posting part of a story and then emailing only one person with the ending.

    Carrie – Thank you. I’ve been called Queen zillions of times but never a King! LOL And you are not dumb just cause you don’t always remember to reply. Just do your best.

    Laurel Plum – As long as you respond in one way or another, I think it’s ok. I prefer the public way but there are a couple of my readers who I respond to via email cause that’s how they want it.

    Angide-nana’s box – Link away girlfriend. Sometimes you’ve gotta hit people over the head to get them to take notice!

    Gaspegirl – Thanks for all the love. I’m glad you liked my blog.

    Spoiled Mommy – Some people prefer emails over responding in their blog. Whatever works for you is cool. And I happen to love blog stalkers!

    Jennifer – It hurt my feelings too. That’s why I now try to respond to all the comments I receive.

    Tracy P – Oh, you get a big kick out of this don’t you? And you are right, the more you comment, the easier it is to forget where you left all those comments. I don’t always go back for a look but when I do, I really wanna see a response from the blogger.

  101. Kalei says:

    Okay, so isn’t it funny that on the blog you talk about commenting to every comment, Heather and Tiffany Share it with the thousands of friends/ SITS-tas….I just noticed you have a lot of responses so good luck! Just wanted to stop by and say I loved your Post, The Junk Drawer was awesome, and I will return….also, I am hosting a 5 gifts for 5 donations post on December 15th come check it out! Congrats on being a featured blogger and a BITS as SITS likes to call you!

  102. flickrlovr says:

    This is my first time here (I’m a SITSta) and I really appreciated what you had to say. I totally agree on all counts. My only dilemma is whether to comment back on the blog post, or to comment back by email. I always love receiving really personal replies by email, but I also like seeing what the blogger has said to other commenters…any advice on that?

    I’ll definitely be back! Thanks for talking about this. Very important stuff. Glad to have found a BITS too 🙂

  103. Preston says:

    Kalei – Yea I think it’s funny too, but I’ve managed to respond to all of the comments! I’m glad you loved my post and you’ll be returning. I agree that the Junk Drawer is totally awesome. I’ll definitely check out your 5 gifts for 5 donations post.

    flickrlovr – Welcome SITSta! You sure do have a dilemma. Maybe you could split your comments. Email those that can accept emails and post responses for those who are “no reply” commenters. Maybe that will work for you. (And I just love being a BITS)

    Jen – I’m glad you agree and I am glad you do it, too!

  104. Kelli @ Gohn Crazy says:

    I’m visiting from SITS. Great post – but I wonder what you do about no reply bloggers? I LOVE to e-mail those who have e-mail linked up, but I feel that if you don’t then I don’t really know what to do. I don’t like replying in my comments that much (unless there is a question that I believe all would benefit from hearing the response) because I don’t think anyone really checks back. So what about that?

  105. Preston says:

    Kelli – I often go back to check for responses to my comments, especially to blogs that I know respond like Junk Drawer Blog and I Do Things So You Don’t Have To. Do what works best for you. Email those you can and either don’t respond to ones that are “no reply” or respond to them in your blog post comments.

  106. jewelstreet says:

    lol. I just read your other post on this. It does get hard sometimes.

    Glad I all ready commented. And, at least you got some bloggy love. lol.

  107. Julie says:

    First, please don’t shoot the duck!
    I agree with all you’ve said, I’ve been guilty about not always responding. I didn’t know if it was best to do it in the comments or an email. I think I’ll start trying to use the comments and see how that works. Thanks!

  108. Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge says:

    Hello Mr. BITS. I was basically gonna say what Kelli said. That “no-reply comment @” blah blabity blah really HACKS. ME. OFF. I just don’t get why people do not go to the trouble of registering themselves with a Google account but don’t put an email address in there! Or, is it Blogger’s mistake? Cause I’ve had folks who reply and sometimes their email address comes up and sometimes not. BUT I just have a hard time going through the trouble of clicking over to their profile, then go to their blog, then post a comment TOTALLY unrelated to their post, just to respond to what they said on mine. I know, it kinda becomes like a conversation. But sometimes it feels more like leaving messages on an answering machine.

    Great post. I’ll be back to read more later.

  109. SouthernAccent says:

    Just found your blog and really appreciate this post! I’m fairly new to blogging and don’t know all of the “rules” yet. There are a couple of blogs I ALWAYS comment on, but they NEVER visit my blog, and I really take it personally, but know I shouldn’t!

  110. Megan R. says:

    Thanks for this post! I am new to blogging, and new to SITS. I love, love LOOOOOVE getting new followers and new comments, and try very hard to reply to all of them. This is a great post!

  111. LenaLoo says:

    I found that it is easier for me to respond to someone’s comment in their blog rather than mine… I did it for a little bit (when I only had a couple of readers) but once I joined SITS I felt like it was cheating in a way (comment fluffing, idk)… But I do like to comment back, no matter how long it takes…

  112. Pretty Me!! says:

    I always reply to the comments .. i even make apoint to say my thanks to the blogger at his/her page in case thay forget to see my reply at my post 🙂 loved this post !!! simple and nice !

  113. Preston says:

    Jewelstreet – Yes, Mr. Know-It-All often bites off more than he can chew. And I love bloggy love.

    Julie – The duck is safe. No ducks have been harmed in the making of this post. Do whatever you think works for you.

    Texan Mama – I didn’t know about the “no-reply” thing until it was pointed out to me. I had to change my blogger settings and once I did that, I was no longer a “no-reply” person. I see no problem with replying by email instead of on your or their blog. Do what works for you. I just like posting my response publicly.

    Southernaccent – I would take it personally if I visited a blog regularly and they never commented on my blog. If they don’t have the time for me, even if it is just once-in-a-while, then why should I have time for them.

    Megan R – Welcome to SITS. It’s such a great group. You’ll get loads of followers. Glad to see you are responding to people’s comments.

    Lenaloo – OMG! I love the term “comment fluffing.” I am so gonna steal that. And it’s true. Some people just leave a comment for comments sake. I think you should only leave a comment if you have something to say about the specific post.

    Pretty Me!! – Good for you. It’s all about respect for the blogging community.

  114. mrsbear says:

    Following over from SITS. Good advice, I tend to not respond in the comments, although I do try to repay a comment with a comment, if that makes sense. I think you’re right though, maintaining that dialogue and sense of community is what blogging’s all about right?

  115. Dee from Downunder says:

    Great points there, I like to reply via email if the commenter has it enabled, or I go to their blog and say hi, and usually reply on my own blog. I guess its easier for someone like me with only a few commenters, but I think its common courtesy to at least say hi back to anyone who is new to your blog, they took the time to visit after all, even if they don’t return.

    I came via the SITS mention, incase you were wondering…

  116. Preston says:

    Mrsbear – Welcome from SITS! You are so right that blogging is a community. As I’ve said to others, do what works best for you whether its commenting on their blog, emailing them, or posting a response on your blog.

    Dee from Downunder – Thanks. Sounds like you got it all together. And welcome from SITS!

  117. nikkicrumpet says:

    I agree completely…however instead of leaving responses in my own comment section (I never go back to see responses to my comments..I didn’t know any did!) I either respond to the email notification…or better yet…go to their blogs and leave a comment there. It takes more time but I enjoy reading their blogs and I think they appreciate the visit! I know I do! Great post!

  118. Preston says:

    Nikkicrumpet – I’m learning that everyone has their own little system for commenting. Do what works for you. I’m actually glad to see so much interest in this topic. 🙂

  119. The Royal Family says:

    i LOVE TO comment… I usually always have something to say. And yes I get disappointed or even furious(with close friends or family) If I never get a response… especially if I ask a question in my comment.

    🙂 Thanks!

  120. Preston says:

    Royal Family – Thanks for the comment. I have been “tested” lately because I have been so busy that it’s hard to comment regularly but I am getting back into the swing of things.

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