I Am NOT Corky St. Claire

Let’s get one thing straight. (and I use that term loosely) I am not Corky St. Claire. I have never been Corky St. Claire, although I would not have a problem with being Christopher Guest cause I think he’s a genius. Not a hot genius (you can’t have everything), but a genius none-the-less.

If you don’t know who Corky or Christopher are, than shame on you! Christopher Guest is one of the masterminds behind This Is Final Spinal Tap, Waiting For Guffman (where he plays a very gay Corky St. Claire), Best In Show, and A Mighty Wind. If you have not seen any of these movies and/or have no idea what I am talking about, you must lead a very sad and unfulfilled life.

But enough about YOU. This blog is about ME. ME ME ME ME and as I said before, I am not Corky St. Claire. Even when I was young, I was not Corky. When I was in my 20’s, I was a bonafide twink. (If you don’t know what a twink is, ask Nanny Goats in Panties as I’ve already explained it to her and I ain’t gonna do it again) I was a Duran Duran lovin’, parachute pants wearing, Madonna wannabe 80’s gay boi.!

Sexy Hot Preston vs. Big Fag Corky
But some tough/sweet little blog reviewing chickie poo named Calamity has informed me that Corky is exactly what I am. I almost spilled my martini, had I been drinking one at the time. She belongs to Ask and Ye Shall Receive, which is a blog that reviews other blogs. Innocently, I asked for a little review of my modest little blog and this beotch darling girlie obliged my request. Read her review here but make sure you get your ass back to my blog to finish reading this post!
Now I take no offense in anything else she said. In fact, I’ve made (what I feel to be) a rather strong effort in meeting some of her demands suggestions. So I am addressing them here and now:
1. Corky St. Claire – I am so way hotter and I don’t use the faggy hand motions or talk really gay like he does. And that hair!!! Puhleeze! And no comments from my friends about that hideous hair cut I had about three years ago that made me look like Moe from the Three Stooges. I corrected that mistake!
2. Blue Skies = Happiness and Barry Manilow – Egads, how wrong can you get. Have you ever heard ELO? I was a BIG fan and I loved the song Mr. Blue Skies. So there. (Can you see me sticking out my tongue, Calamity?) In addition to my paying tribute to ELO, I felt it was appropriate because I was dealing with a very serious depression. I was in a very bad place and needed something to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. Blue Skies did that for me. (Can you see my tongue sticking out again?)
3. Blog Coloring is Wrong – I agree with you totally. Big chicken here when it comes to dealing with XML. But I got my shit together and look at my blog now.
4. Blog is Bo-ring – Harumph. I’ll say it again, Harumph!!!! Well I changed my background to a more interesting background. And a pretty gay background too, after all, Calamity says I’m a big old gay boy and I should own it.
I collect cool barware from the 40’s to the 60’s.
No dolls or Judy Garland memorabilia here.
(The beanies are in boxes in my basement, so piss off.)
5. My Blog Roll is Huge – If you think that is huge, you should see my penis. (I got rid of the blog roll but I kept my penis. By-the-way, I call him Mr. Smiley cause when I look at him he looks like he’s smiling back at me. Kinda goes with the whole Mr. Blue Skies theme, huh?)
6. My Blog is One Dimensional – Uh, read number 5.
7. I’m Sweet as Pie and a Good Person – Uh, of course. That won’t change.
8. My blog is bland and vanilla. Needs more bloody hot posts – I like vanilla. It’s my second favorite flavor. (My first is FREE) I’m a 48 year old sex addict, child abuse survivor (and I use survivor very loosely), gay pig who’s been fighting that damn monster under his bed for as long as he can remember. Do you really want to hear about that? I think I’m at a point in my life where vanilla looks pretty damn good to me. (There, I revealed something very dark about myself. Satisfied?)
9. Give Us More than One Dimension – Gee, I thought I was doing that with all those political posts, which Calamity conveniently ignored.

Actually, I can’t thank Calamity enough for all her suggestions. I enjoy blogging and don’t plan to stop anytime soon. I will seriously take every suggestion to heart and work on making this a better blog. If you’re a blogger, I seriously suggest you request a review of your blog. There’s a pretty big waiting list so do it now before you forget! And as a reminder, I am NOT Corky St. Claire, and even if I was, so what? (Can you see my tongue sticking out?)

Advertisements

29 thoughts on “I Am NOT Corky St. Claire

  1. People in the Sun says:

    First of all, Corky isn’t gay! His wife should be there any day now.

    And about (5), yes, he’s smiling, but he’s also blind.

    (oh, and Spinal, not Final).

    I love that site. I got my review there a few months ago (also from Calamity), and I’ve been going back every once in a while. I even comment, although by the time I get there the comments get a little weird.

  2. Preston says:

    People in the Sun – It just goes to show you that when you proofread your own work, your bound to miss something. (Final Tap, that cracks me up!)

    And regarding #5, of course he’s blind. Don’t they say love is blind?
    And the comments on my post got really, really strange about midway through them. Not that that’s a bad thing!

  3. Preston says:

    Mutha – Thank you so very much. I just dressed it up yesterday. After my review, I was determined to make it look better! (and a tad gayer too)

  4. Babette says:

    Hi Preston, you are brave. Whatever the review was, I still like your blog. Btw, I love Best in Show, I’ve watched it a lot of times. I never get to finish watching A Might Wind, I wasn’t into it every time I see it.

  5. Miragi says:

    Well, whatever you DID do as a result of her suggestions definitely made the page load quicker. A blessing for those of ME who have dialup 😀

    I LOVED A Mighty Wind. That movie will forever Kick Ass, and I own Spinal Tap 😀 But no, I don’t see Corky in you.

    Whether you choose to air your personal demons or not, I’ll still be reading because quite frankly reading, watching and being around gay men always makes me feel better. Watch Flawless, it always makes me smile!

    I don’t think your blog is boring. I just LIKE IT! I’m selfish because I read you to get smiles and feel better! 😀

    Rock on, Preston! Orange flaming wig, Vanilla Martini and all!! Rock on!

  6. Love Bites says:

    Let me give you another suggestion. At the bottom of each post, insert a line break (br) inside these: < and > to distinguish between the date you posted, the number of comments, the links to the post, and the labels. Since everything is the same color, links-wise, it tends to flow together and it was hard to find the link to click to comment (for me at least). i like what you've done here. Template is rockin.

  7. Love Bites says:

    Also, holy hell do you love you some gadgets. There are so many gadgets in your sidebar, it really is distracting, particularly with the very bling-y template. Don’t you think you could limit yourself, to oh, I dunno, 2 gadgets? And get rid of the rest? It would be muy bueno.

  8. Preston says:

    Babette – Thanks but I’m not that brave. And A Mighty Wind is my least favorite. Best In Show is my absolute fav!

    Verbal Warrior – Glad the page is loading faster and yes, I am not Corky, thank you! And thanks for all your kind words. I’m glad you like my blog!

    Love Bites – I am so going to do the page break thing. Thanks for the suggestion. I wish I could make it automatic though. And I know I have tons of gadgets. I already got rid of a bunch of them. Hmmm…I’ll have to put on my gay thinking cap and see what I can get rid of next!

  9. Lidian says:

    I love the new look, Preston, and I loved the old look too.

    Calamity would hate my blog look whih is uber-vanilla, hello Blogspot, need to make that custom header, BORING. I know, I know it is. I know. And I know no one said it either, so I’m saying it…

    And just like you I am a big fan of vanilla! 🙂

    Lidian

  10. Dave says:

    I didn’t click on the review simply because I’m at work and the URL will probably blocked (for obvious reasons). I’ll check at home.

    But as far as blogging goes, I’m prefer more of a Walter Gropius/Bauhaus approach: form follows function. Sure, I have bookmarking links and a few other icons but no more than I feel are necessary.

    That’s why I stick with my bland pre-made WordPress template and only change the banner because it’s the content that matters most to me. I don’t really give two sh!ts what other people think about the design. That’s how I roll–because it’s about ME! C’mon, people buy Priuses for the mileage, not because they are head-turners or will get you the chicks! (Or in your case, the dudes!)

    And yes, your blog is loading much faster. That’s a good thing…but that background even make me feel slightly gay… 🙂

  11. Preston says:

    Lidian – I’m glad you liked both my old and new look. And I think that uber vanilla look goes good with all those retro images in your blogs. (I was always a big vanilla fan. When I was a kid, I always asked for vanilla and the response was usually, “Really?”. Oh well!)

    Dave – I have a wordpress account but I enjoy the flexibility of blogger. I like to have fun with my blogging and, for me anyway, that includes the way the blog looks. Hey, no frontin’ on the background. Besides there’s nothing gay about you or should we rename your blog Homographic Meatloaf? Hmmm??? (Uh, maybe not. Sounds like a gay porn cooking blog. YIKES!)

  12. MakingMoney says:

    Preston brave you are! I’m right there with you when it comes down to all the xml and template changes. I like how you jazzed your template up some looks much better than mines, now you’re inspiring me to fix mines up, lol and your blog isn’t dull.
    p.s I have an award for you on my random day.

  13. Queenie Jeannie says:

    Damn Babe!! You put your neck out like that?? On purpose????

    Blogging IS personal, so it should be all about you – period. If someone else doesn’t like it, then tough shit and move along. If I see something I like on someone else’s blog I either steal it, or ask how they did it (because I couldn’t figure out how to steal it, lol!).

    Those buggers are rude and don’t KNOW you…..blah, blah, blah…judgements, assumptions, general bitchiness/snarkiness. Who the hell needs that????

    If people didn’t like you, or want to read what you write, then they wouldn’t waste time here. But they do.

    So to Ms. Rater…….meh!

  14. mongoliangirl says:

    Well Preston, it took me days to get back to your blog. I was the one that said, “I was bored over there” in the comments on ‘Ask’. And now! WTF? It’s great! I’m going to be reading.
    I’ve been reviewed on ‘Ask’ as well…and appreciated the feedback too. Nice, eh? Never hurts to have a second pair of eyes on things.
    So, I’m a ginormous fruit fly and will be back. Because you’re a big ol’ queen who thinks his weenie is smiling at him? No! Because I’m not bored over here anymore.
    Thanks!

  15. Preston says:

    Makingmoney – Thanks for thinking I’m brave. I think stupidly uniformed would be more appropriate. Thanks for the award!!

    Queenie Jeannie – Hey, what’s a little risk? Thanks for all the compliments. I didn’t want to toot my own horn but I thought I was a tad bit better then “meh.”

    Diane Mandy – I had no idea how brave I was being by having my site reviewed by them, but I’m glad I did it anyway. It encouraged me to clean up my blog’s appearance. And I’m glad you love my blog! Your blog is pretty damn cool itself. Love the “martini” motif!

    Denene Millner – I like you too and your blog. I was glad to give you that award. And thanks for sending some loving back my way. 🙂

    Monogliangirl – I’m so glad you like my changes! I guess I just needed a little kick in the butt to get me motivated! No more bo-ring here. LMFAO

  16. Jennifer says:

    Wow–you were brave to have your blog reviewed–I’m way too chicken to do that!!

    It looks like you have a really fun blog and I like the response to your review!

  17. Country Wife says:

    Definitely loading faster! I’ve tried to comment once or twice and either you don’t like me and delete them 😦 or my dial up doesn’t stick.

    I love your blog. But it usually makes me so hungry (all those food pics and reviews, not the smiling penis, thanks) that I end up wandering off to the fridge.

    You are most assuredly NOT boring. And hot. 😉 Definitely hot. Hot is hot, gay or not. (heh, it rhymes!)

  18. Preston says:

    Country Wife – I would never delete your comments and I am sorry that you had problems commenting in the past. It’s not the first time I heard this complaint. I think it’ll be easier now that the page doesn’t take so long to load.

    Thanks for thinking I’m hot. That particular picture was taken for an ad campaign where I work. The theme was “Who Do You Buy Your Parts From?” I was supposed to be a sleazy corner salesman with parts hanging on the inside of his jacket. You can kind of see the parts hanging inside my jacket. LOL

  19. tamicks says:

    I love your blog, regardless of how it looks. To some people, your blog might be boring, but to others like me it seems quite entertaining. Different people have different perspectives, I guess. If your blog was crap, you would not have so many people commenting on all your posts, and so many repeat visitors. Your new layout is nice, though!

  20. Nanny Goats In Panties says:

    Good on you for subjecting yourself to “Ask And…”. Very brave. And I LOVE what you’ve done with your blog so far.

    Thanks for the linky love, darlin’!

    And now I’m off to read your review!

  21. Preston says:

    Thanks, Nanny Goats, you’re the best! And it really wasn’t that brave. I’m glad you love what I’ve done with my blog but how could I ever compete with your blog? You da best!

  22. Anonymous says:

    Regarding all the gadgets and other Flash/Javascript crap in the sidebar that makes the page busy and slow to load: “Perfection in design is achieved not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to remove.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s