Stop Lunch Thieves and Gross Them Out at the Same Time!

Ever have your lunch stolen from the company fridge? or the sandwich you made to eat later on suddenly disappear? Well now you can keep your sandwich fresh and ward off lunch snatchers with one single product:  The Anti-Theft Lunch Bag!
Now you may be thinking to yourself, “How can a lunch bag be anti-theft? Does it come with a combination lock? Couldn’t someone just steal the bag and chew off the lock to get to the goodies?”  These are all valid questions and locks on a lunch bag are about as useless as underwear on Lindsay Lohen. And like Lindsay, this bag doesn’t need underwear or locks either.  Oh no, it’s something so simple and yet so ingenious:  Lunch bags with green splotches on both sides!

Why not?  Everyone and everything is going green so why not green zip bags for your sandwiches?  It’s a pretty clever idea.  Simply put your finished sandwich in the bag, zip it closed, and put it in your lunch carrier.  In fact, it’s just what you would normally do EXCEPT it now looks like a nasty, moldy sandwich that’s been sitting around for a week or two.  Only you know it isn’t.

Fool your friends — fool your family — fool that jerk-off poor hungry soul at work who is forced to steal your lunch because they don’t pay him/her/it enough to afford his/her/its own lunch.  (Like they pay you any more, right?) Anyway, all’s fair in love and war and 60 minute lunch breaks.  Thank for coming up with this cleverly gross lunch protection.  Now would someone make fake out-of-date yogurt labels that smell like sour ass so that creep will stop eating my yogurts, too?


11 thoughts on “Stop Lunch Thieves and Gross Them Out at the Same Time!

  1. Dave says:

    Being I take the train to work and stuff my lunch in my backpack, I have to pack my sammiches in plastic containers. Otherwise I end up with a pile of mess that isn’t very appealing come lunchtime.

    Other than that…nice idea!

  2. Preston says:

    Dave – You gotta think outside the box or rather outside the plastic container. Put your sammich in the green bag first, then in the plastic container.

  3. Chatty Crone says:

    Thanks for your comment about my Blog. I have no idea how to follow my Blog – I thought on the bottom was a subscribe atom(?) button – but I’m not sure. Sorry.

    I like your Blog too – very interesting – I like thinkers outside the box – the only way to be.

  4. Preston says:

    Chatty: Thanks for stopping by, too. You do have a cool blog and I will have to look closer for the subscribe atom button. And outside the box thinkers are always welcome here. 🙂

  5. Babette says:

    I like that sandwich idea! It’s gross but it will work. :o) For your yogurt, why don’t you put it in a sealed lunch box. Tape it and staple it. It’ll be secured like Fort Knox. LOL

  6. Preston says:

    babette – Yea, but it’s fun gross. For the yogurt, I think I’ll just remove the tops and place with alum foil. No one likes to take food that appears to be partially eaten.

  7. Preston says:

    foongpc – Yea, I think it's really creative too.

    EN&M – I bet it sure would work in the teacher's lounge.

    Leo – Hey, does that qualify for a healthy tip? I guess it would if it was a healthy sandwich eh? 🙂

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